Five Springs

Today is Daivik's birthday !

He went to bed last night with this thought in mind and got up very early in the morning. "Appa, amma, wake up, today is my birthday. Yahooo, I'm the first to get up". So, we got up too and wished him.

The cliche - how fast time flies - cannot be more true. Five years is a long time, but it can also warp us and appear to whiz past in a few seconds, sometimes selectively, sometimes excruciatingly slowly. How can time fly past slowly ?! It seems almost outside of the grasp of perception. Of course there are changes. How dramatic, yet how subtle !  Viewed on an everyday timescale, we hardly notice any difference in kids growing up. They don't change a lot from one day to another. But when somebody who meets them after awhile says (invariably!), "oh, how much you've grown", it never fails to surprise (or amuse !).

Five years is long enough for a 1.6 kg premature infant to cross the wonderlands of infanthood and mature into a  ever-smiling charming young boy, but seems like yesterday when we were celebrating every single gram of weight he was gaining. It is long enough for sounds to acquire meanings, morph into words and resolve into distinct languages. It is long enough to acquire proficiency in communicating effectively in four of them, but, it is also long enough for us to wonder : what, exactly, were his first words, and in which of the those languages ? But the single most important aspect of the five year mark is the list of the firsts. No other five year period in life is going to beat that in numbers, or rapidity, or abruptness, or the charms and innocence associated. That first poop (!), that first cry,that first smile (we were so thrilled when he smiled at us directly...until he was also smiling equally charmingly at that stupid toy), that first step (in Daivik's case, it was propelled by a desire to reach out to his dad :)), that first word (what was that again, Dad?)...

There is another first too. It is also the birthday where he was very much aware of its coming, and participated actively in its organization ("I want a pirate cake") and decided which of his friends gets a share (and who not!). (An aside : Right now, he now has three 'levels' of friendships, indicated by the thumbs of an outstretched hand : if the thumb is down, you are a not-friend, if it is level, you are a half-friend, if it is up, you are a best-friend. So, whoever is lucky to be thumbs-up today gets a share of that cake ! For the record, I keep shuttling between the three levels depending on the context and circumstance ('appa, can I have another chocolate', 'no', thumbs down)).

It is still charming, there is still no demand ("I want a two night stay in Disneyland as my birthday 'gift' "), but these might probably be the first firsts of the next five year program !

Happy birthday Daivik. 

a midnight walk

I remember a toy that I once saw in a design shop. It is a squirrel that has a ball attached to its mouth. The ball keeps rolling forwards and side wards while the squirrel follows it in a jumpy motion, in a futile attempt to catch something that is already there.

Akshara was like that little squirrel, trying to grab an invisible ball. One moment she was lying flat, the next she moved sidewards, the next moment she turned over, all the while her head remaining where it was. She was actually trying to find a suitable position to fall back to sleep. She had just woken up at midnight and was perhaps not comprehending the environment completely. I had the perfectly good intention of wanting to help her back to sleep but she mistook my approach as an invitation to play. All the associated genes got activated immediately as she sat up with a broad smile and sparkling eyes. No, no, no...NO, that's not what I mean, what I mean is this : go back to sleep. But those genes were already on.  I exhausted all my tricks to put her back to bed, but those genes stayed firmly on. She was showing no sign of sleeping, what to do ? Now, past midnight is not a particularly good time for patience to flow in abundance. In exasperation I said, okay, do what you want, and pretended to sleep. All the lights were off, everybody were asleep and Akshara suddenly had all the home to herself. All the freedom to herself. No one to tell her where to not go or what to not take (or break). But there was a conundrum. What to do with all this freedom ? She stood for a minute, looking around, as if considering her options. Then she decided to take a walk ! With the middle and ring fingers firmly in the mouth, looking all around the familiar scenes in the unfamiliar setting of perfect stillness and darkness, she wandered from room to room, back and forth...

After sometime I decided to join her in the walk and softly treaded behind her. She felt my presence, turned back and looked up. I gave my fingers and she grabbed them. We walked to her bed and I let her gently in. The next moment she was asleep !

cola and cigarette

"Mummy, can I have a cola"
"No, Daivik. It is not good for your health"
"why"
"Because it is junk food"
"why"
"Because it has no nutrition. It has no Vitamins, no minerals"
"Then why do they sell it in super market"
"You don't have to buy everything they sell"
"Then why do people buy it?"
"May be they don't know it is bad for health"
"Like cigarette?"
"What?"
"Cigarette is bad for health, but some people smoke"
"Hmmm, you could say that"

Several minutes of silence later,

"Mummy, I want to have a cola"
"But Daivik, it is a junk food"
"But I want to have it"
"Why?"
"Because I love it".

We use neither cola nor cigarette at home, wonder where this "love" comes from !

altruism

I had taken a bar of chocolate as an evening snack for Daivik when I went to pick him up from the kindergarten. He opened it right away and it was about to disappear down his throat when Julia came running by. Daivik rescued the chocolate from its near death and wanted to offer half to her. But how do you offer half a bar of chocolate without breaking it ? He ended up placing the chocolate on air, close to her mouth. His intention was perhaps that she takes a (hopefully small) bite and he can carry on with the rest. Julia had another interpretation. What if Daivik was offering the whole chocolate ?  She felt an immediate joy and grabbed the bar with both the hands. Daivik did not let it go. So the bar was choco-witched between the four arms even as Daivik was trying to convey to her that she was supposed to just take a bite and Julia was trying to convince him that he was not supposed to take back what he had offered.  The wrestling continued for a while and Julia finally managed to grab the chocolate and make a dash. They were in the first floor of the kindergarten which has an open rectangular space in the middle overlooking the atrium below and a long corridor running around. They started running  along the corridor chasing each other with a raised bar of chocolate changing hands frequently, accompanied by raised voices and tears. Antagonism, apparently, is just a step behind altruism ! The teacher intervened and, having figured out what happened, gave the bar to Daivik and took Julia gently away.

Daivik, still teary eyed, came to me and demanded to know "Why did you not bring two chocolates ? See, Julia is crying".  

some more pages

Some of you asked me why I'm not writing enough about Daivik's little sister, Akshara (18 months). No real reason, so here we go :

Continuing the theme of one day in the life equals one page of this mysterious book, here is a look-back on few more random pages, in no particular order.


***
It has been your favorite game  for a while now, lying on the floor, face-up and looking at things from a hundred and eighty degrees. Upside down lateral inversion is apparently funny. So you position yourself on the floor when I'm having dinner and call me out. I look down at you and smile. You flash your magic smile, now filled with five pearls, three in the top row and two below. You realize that I'm eating something and you want it too. You signify your intent by raising your arms. I offer you a rice waffle, admittedly not one of your favorite snack. I have no idea how a  rice waffle looks when viewed  upside down and turned 180 degree. But evidently you understand what it is. Without moving an inch from your position, you turn your head sideways firmly to tell no, this is not what I want and start protesting that you want something else.

***
It is dinner time. You are perched on top of your high chair. It is the only occasion when you can communicate with us at an equal height, without having to strain your neck. Your brother is, as usual, making a fuss with his plate. We trying to alternatively  cajole, convince, threat him to get the food down his throat. He is obviously not too keen  and out-of-the-blue says something very funny without quite intending it to be. Your mother and I burst into a spontaneous laughter and your brother, not quite understanding why we are laughing, nevertheless joins in. You are busy with your food, smudging and smearing it on your face, on the hairs, on your chair, on the table, everywhere. You are distracted by the sounds of the laughter, look up and look at each of us individually with questioning eyes. Then you pause, let out a smile and start laughing too.

***
Ever since you took your first steps, there has been no looking back to the days when your primary mode of transport was by using all four limbs. The switch was both abrupt and dramatic. Another lesson to learn from little children : how to effectively leave the past behind ! Now, one big advantage of walking on two legs instead of crawling on all four is that it leaves your hands free. So you can, for example, carry things.

You bring the spider-man mask of your brother and insist that I wear it. Do you even know what it is ?
I wear it and your father is transformed into something you don't recognize. Right away you take a step back. Instantaneously, your lips purse, your chin trembles and your eyes swell as you start to cry. I remove the mask, and as if by a switch, the cry transforms to a laugh. But then you want me to wear the mask again. I wear it and you step back and start crying again !

on the plane

Daivik knew the route to India : first take a taxi to the train station, then take a train to the airport and finally take the plane to India. The day before we were supposed to fly he had told all his friends in kindergarten how he will go to India (taxi-train-plane). The evening before the travel, there was still some packing to be done. We were hoping to complete it after he sleeps. But Daivik refused to go to bed on time ("otherwise we will miss the taxi"), on top of which he insisted that he will "help" us.

Early the next morning he was deep in sleep but it was time to leave. How to wake him up ? He had not slept enough and there was a long journey ahead...I went close to his ears and whispered very, very gently "t...a...x...i". Perhaps it was a magic word I had tapped into inadvertently. One moment he was in deep sleep, next moment he sat bolt upright and the next he jumped out of the bed and was urging me ("appa, let's go let's go"). It was an incredible thing for him to watch the taxi arrive. A long awaited event was actually happening, right in front of his eyes !

I thought he might sleep on the plane, but he wanted to play, he wanted to watch tv, he wanted to take a walk, he wanted to drink juice (again), he wanted to not eat (when they got  him the food), he wanted to eat (when they took away the  trays). We changed planes midway and he lost himself in the glitter of the middle east, in the shine of the airport floors, in the dazzling brightness all around...the final plane to India was very much to his liking. There were 4-5 kids his age (!) in the plane all of whom got over their unfamiliarity with an amazing rapidity, synchronized right away and started running the aisles and tugging and pulling and hiding and laughing and crying...It was THE most amazing crew I have flown with. They were ever smiling and seemingly not bothered at the kindergarten like atmosphere.

Incredibly, after almost 16 hours of non-sleep, one taxi, one train and two planes, Daivik was a still a bundle of energy (from where does it come??) when they announced landing and the smiling air hostess cajoled the kids to their seats and put on their belts. Perhaps it was the gentleness of the descent, perhaps it was the dimming of the lights, perhaps it was the magic of the air hostess, Daivik fell into sleep right away. But there was one comical moment. As the plane started descending, he literally flowed under his seat belt, like in the Tom and Jerry cartoons, and hit the floor below, immediately finding an alternate position to continue his sleep. I put him back on the seat and he continued to sleep. He continued his sleep as the plane touched down, as we collected our bags, as we walked out of the plane, as we waited in the immigration lines, as we collected our luggage, as we went out of the airport into the crowd and bustle, into the pouring rain, as we arranged the luggage in the car, as we drove home, as we removed back all the luggage....

It was 4 AM and the end of a long trip. We were all looking forward to hit the bed. Daivik was in deep sleep now, so I laid him gently on the bed and was about the get into it myself when he asked in half-sleep, "Appa, have we reached India". "Yes, Daivik", I said. He sat upright again, rubbed his eyes, said, "Yahooooo" and jumped out of the bed. "Appa, come with me" he said, dragging me by hand as he right away started exploring "India".

  

why

First you have to watch this video :)

A friend had posted it on facebook and I was watching this when Daivik joined me. He apparently enjoyed it, laughing each time there was a background laughter. I was not sure how much he understood. But at the end of it he asked if I can play it again. I did, and he started laughing all over again. By the time it ended, I was pretty sure he was going to react, but what was he going to say...

Immediately after the video ended he asked me, "Appa, what is the time now?". What ? I was expecting something related to this video and he is asking me the time. "Eight", I replied, falling into his trap. He flashed a smile mixing it generously with a giggle and in exactly the same tone as the little girl in the video asked, "WHY?".

Quantification

Daivik and me were trying to work together, in this case it was supposed to be some learning exercises. He was obviously getting bored and partly to cover it up and partly to divert me he said in a distracted voice,
"Appa, I love you". Having learnt the lesson from him earlier, I responded - correctly I thought - "I love you, too". He giggled, and said "I love you, three", making a pun on the word 'too'. I played along, saying "I love you, four". This went on for a while and  at one point he made a big jump and said, "I love you thousand".

Until not too long ago, his numerical skills ended at ten, matching with the number of fingers he could count. It had recently expanded several folds to hundred, and I thought was currently saturating at thousand. So I asked, "Is there something larger than thousand". He surprised me by saying, "Yes I know, it is called million". Okay, time for some lessons now ! So, I told him there are numbers bigger than million and introduced him to billion and trillion and was trying to tell him the concept of so many zeros after the one. He got bored again but asked me, "Appa, what is bigger than trillion". "Trillion and one", I said, trying to hide my ignorance of numbers higher on the log scale. He seemed okay with that answer and started to look around for his mother. He spotted her, ran to her and said excitedly, "Mom, I love you trillion and one".

There you go, it is "thousand" for dad and "trillion plus one" for mom :)