counter balance

Daivik wanted to have another bubble gum. I did not want him to gorge on them. I had the packet of gums with me, so I could say no. But he is getting smarter these days. He said, "Can you give me that packet, but I will not eat it". Getting a little logical, I asked, "If you will not eat it, why do you need the packet ?". He ignored my logic and said, "I promise, I will not eat. Can you give me the packet please?". "Okay, if you promise so". I gave him the packet and decided to check out on the fate of the packet. But he was prepared for that.  He demanded, "You should promise to not check me". "Okay, I promise", I said.

I realised that something very interesting was happening. Our objectives were clear, that he wanted to eat it and that I did not want it to happen (again).  I had lost control on the packet but now had his word. He in turn had my word that I will respect his trust. So we had locked ourselves with a series of trusts and balances.  How will this pan out ? How long can it last ? To dramatize it a bit, in the battle between temptation and honor which was going to win ?

At that point, we were on a boat and not in a particular hurry to go anywhere.  There was a glass wall  in front of us and through that wall I glimpsed the battle.  He was pretending to open the packet, pretending to put it in his mouth and pretending to chew on it, hoping that I will 'catch' him in the act. But I paid no attention. So he called me out and with a hidden smile, pointed his chewing mouth. I acted surprised and said, "But that is not allowed, you have given me a promise to not eat it". So he opened his mouth and showed me that it was empty, taking great pleasure in fooling me into believing that he had broken the promise.

With more time passing, I thought he might forget about it. But the packet was still in his hand, he was actively massaging it, feeling it, smelling it, but not opening it. Apparently, having the object of temptation close to you is an effective way of resisting it ! After one full  hour of this, he asked if he could break the promise (he used the German word kaputt). I explained to him that 'promise' and 'break' do not go very well together. But we needed a solution as well, so we decided to "conditionally relieve the promise". The conditions were, a) he gives back the packet to me, b) this is the last bubble gum of the day, c) he has to share it with me. He agreed to them readily and the package exchanged hands. I gave him one piece that he was supposed to split up, I had assumed a split of 50:50, but he decided that a better ratio was 95:5, in his favour, of course. My protests were in vain, "But you did not specify it should be 50 : 50". Finally we agreed on 70 : 30.

He was very pleased with the whole episode. As the boat was gently rocking by, he put the 0.7 gum in his mouth, gave me a satisfied smile, cuddled into my arms and said, "You are my best friend".