Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Our time, our place

Overtime, a little ritual had evolved between Akshara and me. We found a cozy corner in the kitchen where we would snuggle up for a few minutes before beginning the rigors of the day. It involved the following steps: I will sit on the floor with knees bent. She will come running, climb on the knees, find her way to the lap, hug me and give a very warm smile. The whole thing was so natural and matter-of-fact that it had not even registered.

I happened to be away for a few days and hence the ritual had lapsed. I came back late in the night when Akshara had already slept. The next morning, I was sipping coffee when Akshara walked in, all sleepy eyed.  She saw me, gave a smile of recognition and without a word held her hand out in a very purposeful manner. I set the coffee aside and grasped those little fingers. She quietly led me to our corner.  I was pleasantly surprised as remembrance of our ritual dawned on me.

So, I sat down and bent the knees in the usual posture, this time consciously and with anticipation. It was only after seeing me sit that she relaxed and allowed a faint smile to adorn those lips. She had missed our ritual and was obviously waiting for it for the last days. So, she must be full of excitement. I fully expected her to come running and jump right in.

I was not prepared for what happened next. Is this how personalities evolve, or are you born with it? Here was an event that is evidently much looked for, you have missed it for a while, and here it is again. What do you do? She had wordlessly reminded me of our ritual, she had got me into the regular pattern, and now it was her turn. But she did not jump in. She did not even smile. What was going on here? She quietly turned around, her back to me, took the few small steps backwards and sat on my ankles. Slowly, so very slowly, she rested her head on my knees. There was no giggle, no smile, no words, no sound, no nothing. It was just us, and that moment. It lasted for several seconds, it lasted for several centuries.

When she decided it was enough, she got up as wordlessly as she had sat down, and started walking away, leaving me flummoxed. I was staring at her back dumbstruck when she turned and gave a its-between-us smile. Then she called out for her mummy.   

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