I remember a toy that I once saw in a design shop. It is a squirrel that has a ball attached to its mouth. The ball keeps rolling forwards and side wards while the squirrel follows it in a jumpy motion, in a futile attempt to catch something that is already there.
Akshara was like that little squirrel, trying to grab an invisible ball. One moment she was lying flat, the next she moved sidewards, the next moment she turned over, all the while her head remaining where it was. She was actually trying to find a suitable position to fall back to sleep. She had just woken up at midnight and was perhaps not comprehending the environment completely. I had the perfectly good intention of wanting to help her back to sleep but she mistook my approach as an invitation to play. All the associated genes got activated immediately as she sat up with a broad smile and sparkling eyes. No, no, no...NO, that's not what I mean, what I mean is this : go back to sleep. But those genes were already on. I exhausted all my tricks to put her back to bed, but those genes stayed firmly on. She was showing no sign of sleeping, what to do ? Now, past midnight is not a particularly good time for patience to flow in abundance. In exasperation I said, okay, do what you want, and pretended to sleep. All the lights were off, everybody were asleep and Akshara suddenly had all the home to herself. All the freedom to herself. No one to tell her where to not go or what to not take (or break). But there was a conundrum. What to do with all this freedom ? She stood for a minute, looking around, as if considering her options. Then she decided to take a walk ! With the middle and ring fingers firmly in the mouth, looking all around the familiar scenes in the unfamiliar setting of perfect stillness and darkness, she wandered from room to room, back and forth...
After sometime I decided to join her in the walk and softly treaded behind her. She felt my presence, turned back and looked up. I gave my fingers and she grabbed them. We walked to her bed and I let her gently in. The next moment she was asleep !
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